Book Review :: "If I Stay" by Gayle Forman

I’ve gotten into the habit of scanning the teen literature section of my town’s local Target store whenever my mom and I visit. Even if we’re only there for one or two things, I always go back and scan through the books. If any of them catch my intrest, I write them down and look them up the next time I’m at the library.

It was through this procedure that I stumbled across the book “If I Stay” by Gayle Forman.

The name didn’t hit me at first, but after after grabbing the book from the library, I recognized the hardback-cover as one of the books that had been discussed during the most recent writing club. It had gotten a good, but very sketchy, review. So I put aside the other book I had been reading (“Girl in the Arena” by Lise Haines), and began to enlighten myself as to why the review had been so empty.

Novel::

“If I Stay” by Gayle Forman

Summary::

Mia had everything: a loving family, a gorgeous, adoring boyfriend, and a bright future full of music and full of choices. Then, in an instant, almost all of that was taken away from her. Caught between life and death, between a happy past and an unknowable future, Mia spends one critical day contemplating the only decision she has left -- the most important decision she'll ever make.
Simultaneously tragic and hopeful, this is a romantic, riveting, and ultimately uplifting story about memory, music, living, dying, and loving.

My Thoughts::

“If I Stay” was another one of those books that grabbed me with the first few lines. Of course, it also revolved around music, even from the very beginning, so that was definitely a quick and easy attention-grabber.

This novel was a roller coaster ride of emotions. In a good way, of course, but a severe ride nonetheless. One moment things were going good -- everyone’s outlook was great, smiles all around, jokes in the air, and then disaster strikes and it’s like fighting a losing battle.

The main idea doesn’t exactly show its face until about a third of the way through the story, but once it appears, everything makes sense. My favorite part, the best part, the key to everything:

“It’s okay,” he tells me “If you want to go. Everyone wants you to stay. I want you to stay more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life.” His voice cracks with emotion. He stops, clears his throat, takes a breath, and continues. “But that’s what I want, and I could see why it might not be what you want. So I just wanted to tell you that I understand if you go. It’s okay if you have to leave us. It’s okay if you want to stop fighting.”

I don’t often get emotional over books. Movies? Sure. Books? Not so much. But this. This... It was phenominal. I finished that paragraph and tears had begun prickling at my eyes. I finished the remainder of that section and I was crying those silent tears of deep, sorrowful ache.

“If I Stay” is most definitely a must-read.

Rating::

FIVE out of FIVE stars!!

And that’s all for now. Maybe I’ll post a rant or something later?

I’ve seen several decent and not-so-decent movies in the past few weeks. ... And college begins in less than three weeks. So there’s that, too. XDD

Birthdays, adultness, and SuJu

Dear Blawg readers,

I'm an adult now.

"Holy freaking crap on a stick" is right. Me, ranter of rants, childish heathen of an unmentionable hell, is now legally an adult.

Things I can do now as opposed to this time last year ::

Vote! (Yay?)

Go to college! (WOOOOOO~!)

Buy cigarettes! (.... Well. I can buy 'em for mom now, I guess?)

Yeah. Not a huge list. I know. And, unfortunately, my birthday pretty much sucked balls. Mom forgot to take it off work so she worked all day, I couldn't hang out with any of my friends because they were all out of town or we were fighting, and I was stuck babysitting my brother. And he'd cheerfully taken it upon himself to terrorize me to the point of hysterics.

So, like I said, my birthday sucked.

BUUUUUUT.... I've recently stumbled upon something that totally makes up for it.

Super Junior. 13 undenyably HOT pretty boys (12 Korean, 1 Chinese). They're now down to just 10 members, all being Korean, but they still rock my rocks. Their music is awesome. I love it to death. And the best thing? They all fit together so well!

Literally, everyone in the band was in some fanmade skinship couple. *fangirl grin*

My favorite? The two fishies - Lee Donghae and Lee "Eunhyuk" Hyukjae. Totally hot and nomable~

And.. I guess that's all you get. :] I'm going to back to my Super Junior music and my EunHae stories.

Happy early birthingday, Heechul oppa!!

Ever Yours,
The Night Thief

ps - I have a Live Journal account now... If anyone wants it?

Rantrantrant- Oooh, Shiny!

Hello my lovies! Did you miss me much?

Fine. >: I didn't miss you either.

Now, the reason I've been MIA for weeks is because, well, summer break and slothliness absolutely hate me. I recently realized, much to my disbelief, that I've made more friends in the underclassmen from my school that I have in the graduated class of seniors. That is both sad and a little weird, am I right?

Okay, so... Today has been... A weird day. Like... Incredibly über freaking weird. And right now... I hate it.

So let's begin our rants, yeah?

[rant=life]

Okay, folks. I thought we cleared the air up pretty well before, but I guess people still don't understand things. So let me simplify things a bit more...

Life is not supposed to drive people to suicidal conditions, okay? It's really not. And with what I've been witnessing recently, it has been. Too much pressure from adults, too much pressure from school, too much pressure from girl/boyfriends, too much everything!

What ever happened to just being a kid?

Oh. Wait. That's right...

Our economy's failing. Obama sucks. Our school systems are going down the drain. Spastic weather. Psychotic natural disasters. I could go on for hours... But I think you get the drift.

So I suppose that means that what we once knew as adolescence is now obsolete. We in Generation Y, supposedly the genius generation, go straight from childhood to adulthood with no period in between.

What a suckish hand of cards that our generation has been dealt.

I don't have much else to say on this topic for now except... Live like there's no tomorrow and fuck those that try to stop you.

[/rant]

[rant=love]

Love sucks.

Seriously.

It fucks with our heads and messes with everyone around us.

So why do we put up with it?

Because. Without love, humanity is nothing more than an educated beast.

In this 21st century, the most deady disease is that people feel unloved.

So love. Love like there's going to be no tomorrow, because one day there won't be.

[/rant]

[rant=music]

I <3 music.

:]

Music = Life.

Music on. World off.

[/rant]

And I'm done for now.

Class is about to end, and I've gotta find somewhere to go if I'm going to continue skulking around the school.

Happy birthing day, Zack.

Ever yours,
The Night Thief

Two Rants and a Smidge of Relief

Well.

It’s done.

The senior project I try my best not to complain about? Yeah. It’s done.

So that’s where I’ve been these past couple weeks. Pulling up a class grade from 44% to 74%, skittering around to finish the forms, throwing my portfolio together... And passing Senior Boards.

And now I’m one step closer to graduating. Finals on Monday and Tuesday. A couple dozen letters to write for friends. Graduation on Thursday. ... I’m totally ready for this.

But, in other news, my friend is totally not ready for life. And that brings me to my rant(s) for the day.

[rant=life]

First things first.

I don’t give a flying fuck who you are, if you’re a parent and you have a young kid going through a stressful period in their life, it is not your job to pull them aside and tell them to get over it. It may be your job to aid them in choosing a life direction, but it’s absolutely not your job to make them choose during the afore mentioned stressful period.

Personally, I’m lucky enough to have a mother that ‘remembers’ how it feels to be a teenager and a father that truly doesn’t give a shit.

Other people? Not so much.

So let’s say it now and get this nonsense over with.

Unless you can accurately fill the shoes of your kid, don’t try and tug their life around. Especially if they’re from BSHS. They get a lot more shit than adults think, and that school is sinking into the ground like a lead weight in quicksand.

Don’t act like you know it all. Just let your kids be kids for a while. Our economy sucks balls. Let them enjoy being young while they can.

[/rant]

One down, one more to get through.

[rant=love]

Dear Stupid Retards That Think They Know Everything,

FUCK YOU!

You have absolutely no RIGHT to tell me who I can and cannot love. I’m loud, I’m proud, and I will never change. Nothing you do will ever make me stop being me, so get over yourself and get the hell outta my sight.

And that means that the fact that I like other chicks? My decision. If that grossses you out, the door out can be found in the back button. Click it and get out. We don’t want you here.

Guys liking guys not your thing? Ignore it. You’re probably a closet case anyway.

So get over your trip and join the club. Love is love, no matter the gender.

Nuff said.

[/rant]

Now. We all clear? I think I’ve made my point very clear... But feel free to ask questions.

And on to new topics...

I passed senior boards. ... Did I already say that? Yeah. Whoops.

CAUTION~ Floating letters ahead. :D

Yeah.

And.

... I want a Kodoma/forest spirit/imp from the movie Princess Mononoke. ... Like, bad. D:

Okay. I’m shifting from topic to topic. It’s obvious that I need sleep, so I’ma shift out.

Night, all.
Ever Yours,
but unusually über tired,
The Night Thief

Irony at its best

Irony is a bitch. Seriously.

I’ve just spent over six hours on a bus that would take me to and from a town in the middle of nowhere to attend a choral competition at the middle-of-nowhere town’s high school. ... The time actually sepnt in that high school? About three hours.

And I repeat: Irony is a freaking bitch.

Where’s Karma when I need it?

But it’s all cool. Mostly.

The bus ride there was okay. We were allowed to sleep on the ride there, mainly because it was three freaking hours, so instead of sleeping, I pulled out my mp3 player, blasted music, and lightly dozed for about ten minutes every... Twenty miles or so. It’s hard to sleep-sleep when your head smacks the window every other second. That and my morning meds keep me awake. But whatever.

The competition itself was... Eh.

I didn’t go watch anyone sing their solos. Mainly because I’ve already seen them so many times in the classroom that I could probably sing them myself. And because I don’t/didn’t sing until 1:20 or so... (You’ve probably guessed that I’m writing this part as it’s happening...) I flopped down in their distinctly unusual cafeteria and fiddled around on my laptop.

Gotta say.... Good way to pass the time.

Except for the fact that my laptop’s going to die in an hour or so because it’s not plugged in. ... Not my fault though. This time. Every time I try to move to the table nearest to the plug in someone else sits down at the table.

Oh well.

***

Time for the ride home.

(This next part has been written long after the ride was over.)

The ride home was, fortunately, rather uneventful.

We were celebrating because one group got a 1 rating while the second group got a 2. That’s good. Really good.

And, of course, the day drained me like no other. I mean, I’m used to it. Being drained by about five horus of singing. The adrenaline rush is a major exhauster. You heart beats a million miles a minute for about five minutes... And then suddenly, BAM! You’re exhausted.

I sang twice. ... So I went through that twice.

AAAND!

I hung out with a couple cute guys. And was talking to one this evening before I decided to quit procrastinating and went to finish typing this up. ... He’s cute. And sweet. And crazy-insane. And he’s seriously awesome. I feel lucky. xD

Anyway. Exhaustion. Bus. Riding home. Right.

We’re n the bus, and I’m flat exhausted. I prop one of my books in the corner, drop my jacket over it, and curl up. I didn’t expect to sleep - the bus was hitting a bump every other second. So when I dozed off, I was certainly not expecting to wake up on the ground with a stinging knee. And that was when I discovered...

The bus bit me.

Okay... So I fell off the seat. But the bus still scarred up my knee and BIT ME! :o

Aaaand... Exhausted again. Gonna kick my net into gear, post this and then go to bed. ‘Cause I’m tired. And there’s nothing you can say or do to stop me.

I’ll post something amusing when I get back up. :] Promiiise~

Ever Yours,
but still super tired and ready to pass out for twelve solid hours,
The Night Thief

Urg.

Yeah, that's me, a busy little bee! ... Wow, it rhymed! Talk about freaky!! :D

Anyway.

Life can be such a pain. Really.

Tomorrow, also known as Saturday, is the State Solo and Small Ensemble competition. And guess who gets to wake up über early, leave at the crack of dawn, hang out on a bus for around three hours, spend all day in a gym full of obnoxiously loud students, sing abit, more gym time, sing some more, then proceed back to the bus for another three plus damn forsaken hours, all the while being stuck miles away from the best friend that needs them?

Me. That's who.

I feel awful.

Mainly 'cause I'm so excited for the competition.

Damn me!

Well. I'm obviously damned enough because it's stopped raining (for now), the sky is über dark and the sun somehow shines, afore mentioned best friend is at her true house in BFE Numba 2 Kansas, AAAAAAANDDDD..... Mother Nature's a friggen witch. FTL!

I want some chocolate. Like... Seriously bad. Or ice cream. And a heating pad. Or a dark room to sleep. A dark room in my house. With my cat posse.

Yeah. Chocolate and a dark room with my cat posse.

But I have stuff I gotta do today... And if I want to go to competition tomorrow, I gotta be here for at least half the day... Which means attending the fail lunch the provide us with. ... Great.

FML.

Ever Yours ,
but highly annoyed and in need of chocolate,
The Night Thief

How It Ends -- Review

I can finally write a review for this. Finally. It took a solid day to gather my thoughts... But I did it. :] So let's take it from the top. :]

Novel::

"How It Ends" by Laura Wiess

Summary::

All Hanna's wanted since Sophomore year is Seth. She's one out with other uys, even ained a rep for being a flirt, all the while hoping cool, guitar-playing Seth will choose her. Then she gets him -- but their relationship is hurtful, stormy and critical, not at all what Hanna thinks a perfect love should be. Bewildered by Seth's treatment of her and in need of understanding, Hanna decides to fulfill her school's community service requirement by spending time with Helen, her terminally ill neighbor, who she's turned to for comfort and wisdom throughout her life. But illness has changed Helen into someone Hanna hardly knows, and her home is not the refuge it once was. Feeling more alone than ever, Hanna gets drawn into an audiobook the older woman is listening to, a fierce, unsettling story of passion, sacrifice, and devotion. Hanna's fascinated by the idea that such an all-encompassing love can truly exist, and without her even realizing it, the story beings to change her. Until the day when the story becomes all too real...and Hanna's world is spun off its axis by its shattering, irrevocable conclusion.

My Thoughts::

"How It Ends" hit me hard and hit me fast. It might have been because I know how Hanna felt in the proloue. I've been through a tough time that eventually did lead to a divorce, and like any young child would, I blamed myself. And I felt an immediate kinship with Helen who had to create a fictional world to keep young-Hanna happy. Being an older sister to a younger brother took a lot out of me, especially when his questions went on and on and on.

As the years went on, Helen reminded me distinctly of my own grandmother, now deceased, who would also take in the stray cats (once-owned by people who decided that dropping them in the middle of BFE was a good idea) from the area and feed them and slowly gain their trust.

And as the story progresses, you see that Seth is... Well. He's a pain. Simply put, be glad he's not real. Sure, there are guys like him out there... But after reading this, you'll know who they are and what they're reeeally doing. And you can slap a hazard stickeron him, or something. >:]

More than likely, if I reveal too much more, I'll spoil the whole story... So go and check this book out and read for yourself "How It Ends".

Hah. :D Play on words, see? ... Well. It was corny. But I tried. =P

Seriously though, go read it.

Rating::

FIVE out of FIVE stars!

Well. Time to skip out...

I have pie to eat, after all. >:D

Ever Yours,
The Night Thief